Amelia's Past and Promotion
by Firefall Bangenthump
Summary: Amelia is offered a promotion in exchange for rejoining the Royal Navy. In discussing it with her, Doppler learns why she resigned in the first place - and of the cost at which such service can come.
1. Chapter 1

The toaster finished its cycle with a jaunty ringing sound and catapulted two pieces of bread a good foot into the air. Doctor Delbert Doppler caught them with practised ease, the effect of which was only mildly spoiled by the hasty juggling act he them embarked upon as the hot toast burned his hands.

"Hot, hot, hot, hot!"

He dropped them unceremoniously onto a plate and sucked his fingers ruefully.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like some muesli, dear?" Amelia looked up with amusement from the small round kitchen table. She had a bowl in front of her and a spoon halfway to her smiling lips.

"Yes, thank you, darling," Doppler fumbled in a drawer for a knife and hunted out a jar of jam from a cupboard. "I'm perfectly capable of handling my own breakfast."

"Despite appearances," Amelia grinned.

Doppler chuckled as he picked up a knife and began spreading jam on the toast. "Something about books and covers comes to mind. Would you like another cup of tea?"

Amelia smiled. "I don't mind if I do."

Doppler went to the samovar and began filling two mugs. The kitchen of his manor house was designed to cater for larger gatherings than he had ever hosted. Large cooking pots hung from the ceiling or were stacked up in columns in the corners, so he and Amelia had set up their table near the warmth of the stove where it benefited from the natural light falling through the windows.

"We should have breakfast together more often," Doppler remarked. "I rather like this routine."

"As do I," Amelia put down her spoon and watched her husband make his way to his seat, balancing his toast and their teas carefully. "Especially when we have these mornings together, just for ourselves."

"It does make it special." Doppler sat down and smiled at her. "Even if there's still a bit to do."

Amelia watched him pick up a bundle of mail and begin sorting the letters. She sighed theatrically.

"You know, Delbert, all of that can wait. It's already waited a fortnight for us."

Doppler sighed. The idea of taking two weeks to visit what passed for Montressor's equatorial tropics had been a good one. The winter had been unusually long and he and Amelia had reached the consensus that they wanted to visit somewhere where they didn't wake up to half a centimetre of ice on the windows every morning. Her time on Montressor was valuable and spending it watching the patterns of frost on the glass seemed like a waste.

"Yes, but some of them might be important," he said. "Bills and so on."

"Bills?" Amelia looked at him in surprise. "You have your own solar generator on the roof, you have your own dam down in the valley and you pipe natural gas straight from the wellhead of the mine that your family built. What bills could you possibly have?"

Doppler looked down and mumbled something. Amelia leaned forwards.

"Pardon?"

Doppler cleared his throat. "Well...if you must know...library fines. From the University. I might be on staff there but the librarians are awfully strict."

Amelia chuckled. "And you've been stung a few times?"

"More than a few. I have quite a good library, you see, but you have to know whether you want a book before you add it to a collection, so you borrow it."

"And then not return it?"  
"It's not a question of not returning them as...just not being able to find them," Doppler said ruefully. "The last thing I need is to have to go back and explain things to the head librarian again."

"I'm sure you're all right," Amelia looked at the pile of letters. "If they were about to cancel your tenure or confiscate your telescope I'm sure they would have made it very clear by now."

"So one would hope." Doppler examined a letter critically. "But you never know. I mean, this one isn't even addressed to us. It's not even addressed to this planet. Goodness knows how it came to be here."

"Anything important is usually delivered by hand," Amelia ate a mouthful of her muesli. "You needn't worry, Delbert."

"It's habitual," Doppler muttered.

"Well. You can stop now." Amelia reached across the table and took his hand. Doppler looked up at her and smiled. Her auburn hair was still somewhat disorganised but the colour still perfectly complimented her blue dressing gown. Amelia out of uniform was a sight to see for more than one reason, but Doppler especially liked it when she could shed the burden of command. There was a liveliness in her green eyes that he missed so much and he felt his heart lift at the sight.

"Yes. Of course I can." He put the letters aside and picked up the morning's newspaper instead. Amelia finished her muesli and took her tea, wrapping her hands around the warm mug and holding it steady.

"Anything noteworthy in the paper?" she asked. "The Empire hasn't dissolved in our absence, I trust?"

"Not as far as I can see," Doppler grinned. "Although I haven't checked the comics page yet."

"Glad to hear it." Amelia took a sip. "One can't be too sure."

"Nothing has changed since we left." Doppler sighed. "Vessels going missing. Outposts under threat. More sightings of unidentified ships beyond the frontiers. The Procyons closing another consulate and withdrawing their diplomats. You'd think there was no good news to report in the whole galaxy." He turned a page. "Although there is something here that might interest you personally. Apparently the Navy is being reorganised. Did you know that?"

Amelia nodded. "I've heard the rumours. And it's obvious why. I'm a little surprised that anyone has actually done it, though. Lining up the Board of the Admiralty is like herding cats."

"I'm glad it was you who said that," Doppler smiled.

Amelia chuckled. "Well, it's true. There's a reason I resigned and went into the Reserves. And I only did that because it was the only way of being sure I got my own ship."

"Yes, I'd wondered about that." Doppler looked up at her. "From all accounts, you had quite a distinguished career. One of the youngest Post Captains in the fleet. And with your family history..."

"History was part of the problem," said Amelia firmly. "There was rather too much of it for my tastes, and rather too many people looking to preserve it for its own sake. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm as in favour of traditions as anyone else...but not when they start getting in the way of an organisation doing what it was supposed to do."

"Which is?"

"Fight and win. As quickly and effectively as possible." Amelia stirred her tea. "The Empire hasn't fought a major battle since the Lagoon Nebula War and even that only used a fraction of the Navy's strength. The Navy as a whole simply got out of practice. It started to think that patrols were all it ever had to do. Just fly the flag and the pirates, the Procyons or whoever else was a problem would turn tail and run. It started to think it didn't even have to fight." She smiled bitterly. "Do you know, on the last ship I served on before I was promoted to my first command, our captain wouldn't even let us perform gunnery drills in case it got scorch marks on the deck? And then when we were allowed to use our weapons we practically had to account for every shot fired."

"We have accountants like that at the University," said Doppler. "I had to fill out a procurement form just to get a new pencil once."

"That kind of bureaucracy is bad enough in civilian life," said Amelia, "but in the Navy, out there, it can get people killed. And it did. And it punished anyone who tried to go their own way."

Doppler recognised the hint in her voice. The subject of her departure from the Empire's service was not one that came up in casual conversation. "You mean, like you?"

Amelia sighed. "There was...an incident. On the border with Procyon territory. No doubt you've never heard of it. There's no reason you would. A few of our merchant ships were attacked there so the Admiralty sent a small task force to see what was up. I was commanding a frigate at the time. I was given the job of closely escorting a convoy with another of our ships and decided to take the opportunity to set a trap. So we held back, far enough away that the convoy looked unprotected. Sure enough, the Procs took the bait. And we hit them out of the sun. Gave them a damned good hiding, too, if I say so myself."

Doppler waited politely. "So...what went wrong?"

"Nothing!" Amelia put her mug down on the table with a certain vehemence. "The plan worked perfectly! And it kept working, too. After that, the Procs even avoided convoys that actually were unprotected because they couldn't be sure that one of us wasn't hiding in ambush nearby. But I'd disobeyed my Admiral's orders because he'd told me to provide close escort for the convoy and I hadn't done that."

"But surely the point was to get the convoy through?" said Doppler.

Amelia laughed bitterly. "So you would think. So I thought. Until I was marched into the Admiral's office one day and threatened with court-martial for my conduct."

"You?" Doppler blinked in surprise. Amelia seemed in so many ways to be the textbook officer.

"It was quite a scene, I can tell you," she smiled wryly. "Anyway, in the end it came down to a choice between resignation and removal to the Reserve, or facing prosecution. I took the former. The captain of the other ship that had been with me that day took the latter option and was demoted. That's what you got if you were interested in results, in ends rather than means."

"No wonder you left." Doppler shook his head.

"I heard that the Admiral insisted on close escort only thereafter," Amelia said. "And of course the Procs took full advantage of it. They attacked in stronger force, picked us off. The task force lost three ships in as many weeks. And the Admiral who gave the order wasn't punished. No court-martial for him. He was simply transferred to another command somewhere where he couldn't get good men and women killed by sheer stupidity."

Doppler hadn't seen Amelia get this angry for quite some time and he hesitated in his reply until he saw her relax again.

"Anyway. It was all a long time ago. I fought in the Nebula War, Delbert. I lost good friends and...more than good friends." Shadows flickered behind her eyes for a moment, almost too fast for Doppler to notice. "But the Navy I served in and they died for doesn't exist any more. Not really."

"I'm sorry." Doppler lowered his voice. "I...I really am."

Amelia shook herself. "Like I said. It was a long time ago. And I'm still in space, so I shouldn't complain."

"Still...it doesn't sound easy." Doppler looked up at her.

"It isn't," she murmured before rousing herself again. "So. You were talking about something in the paper?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, I was. It's right here." Doppler lifted the paper again. "'The newly-appointed First Space Lord, Admiral of the Fleet the Right Honourable Sir Rupert Benson, yesterday announced a series of measures which he stated would better position the Royal Navy to defend the Empire from any territorial threats...'"

"He means the Procyons," said Amelia. "Pirates are annoying but they aren't in the business of occupying entire planets. You have to learn the political language even if you don't like to speak it."

Doppler glanced up at her over his glasses. "Come now, dear, I've never known you to be anything but diplomatic."

Amelia laughed. "I'll pretend you meant that and I'll take it as a compliment. So old Benson is the new First Lord? That can only be a good thing. I served with him once in the Nebula War. It's good to know that there's a veteran of the Navy's last real campaign at the helm."

"Well, if this article is to be believed, he's got quite an ambitious agenda," said Doppler, turning a page. "In fact, he's..."

Amelia looked up as Doppler trailed off. Insofar as it was possible to tell beneath his brown fur, he had gone pale and was staring at the paper in shock.

"You look like you've seen a ghost, darling," she said. "Whatever it was, it can't be that bad."

Doppler suddenly cast the paper aside and began rummaging through the pile of mail, so carefully-sorted just a minute before, casting aside letter after letter and letting them fall carelessly onto the floor. Amelia watched in alarm.

"Good grief, Delbert! What's the matter?"

"Just something the paper said," Doppler muttered, casting aside an envelope bearing large red stamped letters spelling the word OVERDUE. "Something bad."

"And you think it's in there?"

"I'm hoping it isn't!"

"What is it, though?" Amelia stood up and reached across the table, taking a firm but gentle hold of Doppler's wrist. "You can tell me, Delbert, whatever it is."

Doppler looked up into her eyes and tried to bring his breathing back under control. He swallowed, taking comfort from that steady green gaze.

"It's just that...the paper mentioned...it said that..." He swallowed again. "It said that the Admiral was calling up Reserve officers. Said he was looking to bring the best and brightest back...and, well, you do strike me as..."

Amelia smiled. "Oh, Delbert. That's an awfully sweet reason for you to worry about me."

He smiled shyly. "Well, I don't think it's any secret that you should be regarded as one of the best and brightest and whatever...and surely they'd want you back..."

Amelia chuckled. "My sweet, darling doctor. I think you underestimate just how many enemies I managed to make. There may be a new First Lord, but he'll have to deal with everyone else...including the Admiral who tried to court-martial me, who doubtless has been promoted even further by now. If they wanted me back, I'd know it by now."

Doppler nodded. "Yes. Yes, I'm sure you're right."

"A letter wouldn't be their style anyway," said Amelia. "It'd be too easy for them to get lost."

"The post is unreliable enough as it is," Doppler admitted. "I can see why they wouldn't trust it."

"Precisely." Amelia leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "So you see, you really don't need to worry about me."

Doppler looked up at her and smiled. "Yes...thank you. I'm sorry."

"It's quite all right," Amelia kissed him again, this time on the lips. "It's really quite sweet of you."

"I suppose not everyone wants you as much as I do." Doppler smiled again, then turned red and stammered for a moment until Amelia quieted his lips.

"I don't want anyone to want me as much as you do, sweet Delbert," she whispered.

Doppler stroked her cheek. "I really do apologise, Amelia. I was just...I worry every time you leave on a voyage. The idea of you going back...of being apart for goodness knows how long...I wouldn't give up, of course, but..."

"I know," Amelia rested her forehead on his. "It would be hard on both of us. But you needn't worry about that either. If the Navy wanted me back, they'd have sent someone in person, and I didn't notice any calling cards on the front door when we got back."

"True enough," said Doppler. "I hope you don't take it personally. I mean, the best and brightest and all that..."

"Oh, goodness, no." Amelia laughed and sighed happily. "But it's enough to know that you think of me that way."

"In many ways," smiled Doppler. "In fact -"

The doorbell rang. It was a quiet chime that rang through the entire empty manor, seemingly much louder than it should have been. The words froze on Doppler's lips and a look of shock flickered across Amelia's face. Doppler coughed nervously.

"That...that's the doorbell..." he murmured.

"Yes, it was..." Amelia sat down, a sudden faraway look in her eyes.

"Perhaps it's Sarah," said Doppler, fumbling with his toast. "Or perhaps it's a door-to-door salesman. I once bought a complete set of _Encyclopaedia Galactica _from one. Maybe he's come back again. They're always bringing out new appendices."

"Yes. Perhaps." Amelia bit her lip. "Well...you'd better go and answer it."

"Yes. Of course." Doppler stood up and went to leave the kitchen, putting his hand comfortingly on Amelia's shoulder. "I love you, Amelia."

Amelia put her hand on his and looked up at him. "I love you, too, Delbert."

Doppler patted her and made his way out of the warm kitchen and down the long, empty, heavily-carpeted corridor. He paused at the door as the chimes rang out again and checked his reflection in the mirror that hung on the wall nearby. He adjusted the rope of his maroon dressing gown and tried to stop his hands from shaking as he put them on the handle.

"Yes? What is – oh, goodness..."


	2. Chapter 2

Two stern-faced Royal Marines were standing in the doorway, resplendent in their red uniforms. They stepped aside and took up positions on either side, allowing Doppler to see what had arrived in his driveway. A solar carriage, bearing the bright crest of the Royal Navy, stood a little way off with another two marines standing guard over it. Occupying the immediate foreground was a naval officer in a spotless blue frock coat, collar turned up to protect his neck from the cold.

"Er..." Doppler looked at him uncertainly, suddenly wishing that he wasn't wearing the slippers that Amelia had given him for a joke on his last birthday and which were shaped like jovial bullyadous heads.

The officer stepped forward, touching his hat.

"Good morning, sir. Commander Curtis Cameron at your service. Doctor Delbert Doppler, I presume?"

"I haven't done anything!" Doppler protested.

Cameron looked nonplussed. "Er, yes, sir. I know. But you are Doctor Doppler?"

"Er...yes?"

"Then Captain Amelia would be on the premises?"

"Er...what if she is?"

The officer produced an envelope from under his arm. Doppler took it and saw her name neatly written on the front. It was closed at the back with a wax seal bearing an elaborate coat of arms.

"I am under instructions to deliver this to her personally, sir," said Cameron. "I understand that this is her usual place of residence on Montressor?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"And she is in?"

Doppler hesitated. "Well...yes, although she's..."

Cameron cut him off, in a tone that permitted no room for argument. "May I come in, sir?".

Amelia was still sitting at the kitchen table, having not apparently moved much since Doppler had left her. He poked his head around the door and gave her a small smile.

"Er, dar – I mean, Amelia? There's someone here to see you."

Amelia shook herself out of her reverie and adjusted her blue gown. Doppler couldn't help but draw some comfort from the way she gathered herself together and sat bolt upright in the chair.

"Thank you, Doctor," she said. "Show them in, please."

Doppler pushed the door open and stood back to let Cameron pass. He stepped smartly down the small flight of stairs into the kitchen, stood before Amelia and saluted smartly, his hat tucked under his arm.

"Good morning, captain. Commander Curtis Cameron from Sector Headquarters."

"Good morning, commander." Amelia acknowledged the salute. "I imagine that this is not a social call?"

"Correct, ma'am." Cameron produced his envelope. "I'm here on direct request of the First Space Lord of the Admiralty. I have been ordered to present this to you in person."

Amelia stood up and took it. "Thank you, Mr Cameron."

Doppler hesitated by the door. Amelia sat down again, slit the envelope open with a manicured claw and took out a piece of embossed manuscript paper. Doppler could see that it had gold edging and bore Navy letterhead, but he was unable to make out any of the neat copperplate writing that filled most of the page. Amelia read it in silence, her mouth pursed and with one eyebrow raised. Doppler watched her face closely for any kind of emotion or clue as to the tidings that she had just received, but she betrayed nothing of whatever she was thinking.

"Um...would you like a cup of tea, commander?" he said, desperate to break the silence.

Cameron, standing politely with his arms folded behind his back in a manner that suggested a willingness to remain that way until the end of time, shook his head. "No, thank you, sir."

Doppler looked around the kitchen and wished he'd been a bit more diligent about washing up old dishes.

"So...lot of weather we're having at the moment, aren't we?" he said desperately.

"Couldn't say, sir," said Cameron. "I've come here direct from Sector HQ."

Amelia coughed. "If you gentlemen are quite finished?"

Cameron stood back to attention. "Sorry, ma'am."

"Er, yes, sorry." Doppler fought a strange urge to stand to attention himself.

Amelia finished reading in the awkward silence that followed and the put the letter down neatly.

"I see," she said. "And when do you require an answer?"

"Within two days, ma'am," said Cameron. "My ship will be returning and we will need your acceptance in writing."

"Two days?" Amelia looked up severely. "Is that all?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm afraid so. It would commence on the nineteenth of the month."

"But that's only a week away! What could be so urgent?" Doppler exclaimed.

He looked at Amelia with some concern, but her posture hadn't altered and she took the short deadline with no more than a brisk nod.

"Very well, commander. You will have my response on time. You are staying in town?"

"On the spaceport, ma'am. The details are on the envelope."

Amelia flipped it over and nodded. "Very good. Thank you, Mr Cameron. You may go."

Cameron saluted again, turned on his heel, nodded to Doppler, and left, closing the kitchen door behind him. Doppler stayed still for a moment, still scanning Amelia's impassive face for a reaction.

"A...Amelia? Is something wrong? What was that all about?"

Amelia silently span the letter around and pushed it across the table towards him. Doppler blinked and sat down again, heart racing and trying to keep his hands from shaking as he picked it up and began reading.

"Let's see now...by order of the Board of...by the powers vested in...Section 35(A)(1)...Reserve Officer Activation Clause? Wait, they're...they're drafting you back in?"

"Keep reading," said Amelia quietly.

"'Note that this invocation of the Clause is predicated on your immediate and unconditional acceptance of the following terms of engagement...'" Doppler read on, lips moving in silence and eyes gradually widening. "But...Amelia...this is...this is an offer of promotion! They're making you an Admiral!"

"So they say," said Amelia.

"It says it right here!" Doppler pointed. "'Promotion to rank of Rear-Admiral to take immediate effect on assumption of position as Sector Commander (Crescentia)'! So you'd be based here on Montressor!"

"I've read it, Delbert," Amelia said.

Doppler closed his mouth and nodded. "I...I know, it's just...it's so sudden." He looked up at Amelia's face and put the letter aside. "Are...are you going to take it? It says here that you have a choice."

"I know. And all of two days to make it." Amelia sighed.

"What would it mean?" Doppler looked concerned.

"Well...a lot more work, for one thing," said Amelia. "And...it would mean that I wouldn't have time for spacing any longer. I'd have to leave the _Legacy_."

Doppler sat and pondered this. His first reaction, to his own deep shame, was one of happiness at the prospect of Amelia being planetside more often, especially if her new office was to be nearby. But then other thoughts occurred to him, reminders of how important the _Legacy_ was to her. She had a lot of memories on that ship. And more broadly, the idea of Amelia working on a planet – marooned, as she would doubtless call it – was anathema to her very being. Doppler had never been sure whether she had been made for the etherium or whether the etherium had been made for her.

"Leave the _Legacy_?"

Amelia nodded. "I'd be marooned on a planet a lot of time with the job. And even when I'm able to get into space a mere clipper is hardly a fitting flagship."

"So you'd still be able to go into space?"

"Oh, yes. That's not the problem."

Doppler picked up the letter. "It says you'd have commander's discretion, whatever that means."

"That means that I can do what I like until someone overrules me," said Amelia. "More diplomatic language, this time stating the bleeding obvious."

"Oh." Doppler looked at the letter again. "Well...that's still a good thing, isn't it? And you'd be able to spend more time here if you chose."

Amelia looked up in surprise. "You're talking as if I've already accepted the offer, Delbert!"

Doppler met her eyes, equally surprised. "You mean you're not?"

"Not necessarily. I just...I don't know." Amelia looked down again.

Doppler blinked in surprise again. That was an unusual-enough admission from Amelia to warrant careful attention.

"Why wouldn't you?" said Doppler. "I mean...a promotion. That's good, isn't it?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Amelia's green eyes flashed dangerously and her lips drew back over her teeth. "Did you not hear a single thing I said before, Delbert? About why I left in the first place?"

Doppler was taken aback at his wife's sudden ferocity. "Of course I heard. I heard it all. But, well, this would be different, wouldn't it?"

"How?"

"Well, before you were saying that your trouble had been caused by an Admiral...but this letter says you'd be one yourself so that wouldn't happen again..."

"That's hardly the point! I'm not scared of court-martial or anything else they might do!" Amelia stood up and leaned over the table. Doppler backed up his chair until a leg caught in a flagstone gap and wedged hard. He raised his hands defensively.

"I didn't say you were! I know you're not! Please, Amelia, I don't understand!"

Amelia took a deep breath and opened her mouth, but the sight of the fright in Doppler's features struck her like a hammer and she sat down heavily, head in her hands.

"Oh, Delbert...I'm so sorry."

"It's all right," Doppler moved back to the table shakily. "I mean...I'm sure you had your reasons and I'm sure they were good ones...I just don't understand them right now...I want to be here for you and I want to help, but unless I know how..."

Amelia sighed. "Of course. I'm sorry. But it all goes back to what I said before. The Navy I served doesn't exist now. Why would I go back?"

"Well, you'd be able to make a difference, wouldn't you?" said Doppler. "With this promotion, you'd have more influence. You could change things."

"With this promotion, I'd be part of the ranks that have been causing the problems," said Amelia.

Doppler nodded. "So you think you'd become part of the problems rather than the answers."

Amelia looked up in surprise. For someone who hadn't understood a moment ago, and whose social intelligence was inversely proportionate to their academic brilliance, Doppler could be surprisingly quick on the uptake.

"Yes...something like that."

"But you won't be," said Doppler.

"You can't know that. And even if I do have ideas, that's not the same as making them happen."

"I know." Doppler took her hand across the table. "But you do have ideas, don't you?"

Amelia rolled her eyes. "Every spacer has an Admiral's flag bundled away in their rucksack," she said.

"I could say the same about academics and Chancellors' floppy hats," Doppler smiled knowingly.

"And how often does anything ever come of it?" said Amelia.

Doppler shrugged. "More often than if nobody ever tried," he said innocently.

Amelia looked up at him sharply. "It's not that I'm afraid to try," she said. "And it's not that I can't be bothered, if that's what you mean."

Doppler waved his hands again, hoping to head off another explosion. "I didn't mean either of those things!"

"I'll have you know my reasons are entirely different," said Amelia, settling down again and picking up her mug of tea.

"Yes?"

She took a sip of tea and put it down with a sigh. "The circumstances of my departure were less than ideal."

"Yes, I'd gathered that," said Doppler softly.

"Is it really possible to go back to that, knowing what happened?" Amelia shook her head. "I know what the letter said, but words and actions are different...I learned that the last time. Can I go back to an organisation that treated people that way? You didn't know me when I was forced to resign, Delbert...I swore I would never go back. And I meant it."

Doppler nodded. "And you don't give your word lightly. I know. But is that the only thing holding you back?"

"Not entirely..." Amelia sighed again. "It's not easy, Delbert. I was in a war. I lost people I cared about. I was parted from people I...I loved. One in particular. And then there was everyone who died. That's the way it is. And if I go back...that means I could lose you. Or you could lose me."

"I know." Doppler looked down. "But I think about that anyway. Spacing isn't exactly a safe occupation at the best of times. Every time you take that ship out, I watch it leave knowing that you might not come back."

"Oh, Delbert." Amelia held his hand. "I didn't know it was so hard on you. I know what it's like to see that and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I certainly wouldn't wish it on my love."

"It must be hard," said Doppler quietly. "I can't imagine what it's like to lose a friend like that."  
Amelia shrugged. "It goes with the job. You know it from the day you join up. But still…it is hard. And it doesn't get any easier with time."

"It wouldn't. Not so long as you care about them," Doppler nodded sadly. "And nobody would care more than you."  
Amelia smiled inwardly. Trust her floppy-eared husband to see through the strict professional façade she always maintained. "If you stop caring about your shipmates, you don't deserve their company."

"And it would be especially hard if one of them was a special friend." Doppler looked up at her. "I heard you mention it before…I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry into your history. But if you lost someone close to you, I can understand even more why you wouldn't go back."

"The strange thing is, I did go back after that," said Amelia. "It was a long time ago, just after the Nebula War in fact."

"Is it something you want to talk about?" Doppler put his head on one side. "Of course, I understand if you can't, or if you don't like to. I just want to understand so I can try to help you more."

"You're doing plenty, my darling, believe me," Amelia patted his hand.  
"I always do," said Doppler.  
Amelia smiled, gazing into his soft dark eyes. "And I trust you with everything."  
"I believe that as well," Doppler smiled back.  
She looked down and took a deep breath. "In the early weeks of the Nebula War, my ship received a distress signal from an Imperial colony that was under attack. We answered the call. The captain ordered me to lead a landing party down to the colony to help defend it."

"Pirates?"  
"Worse, as it turned out." Amelia shook her head. "The Procyons were trying to wipe out the colony so that they could take the planet and occupy it before anyone outside noticed."

Doppler looked surprised. "I didn't know the Procyon Hierarchy was involved in the Nebula War. Of course, some people can't stub their toe in the Empire without blaming them, but still..."

"Most people don't know. It was kept under wraps. If it had got out that the Procs were aiding and abetting pirates in Imperial space while seeking to annex Imperial territory it would have been very hard not to go to war with them. Clearing out a hornet's nest of pirates is one thing but a galactic war on that scale would have been quite another, and nobody wanted it," Amelia said. "So it was put down to rogues and renegades and so on."

"I see." Doppler nodded and shook his head. "You were right about the politics."  
"Anyway, that's where it happened," said Amelia. "It was a small colony, only there for a few months before the war began."

"That's where you met this…special person?" Doppler asked.  
Amelia nodded and her eyes took on a momentary, faraway look as she remembered. "Yes. That's where I met her."  
"I understand," said Doppler. "A situation like that must put you under a lot of pressure. I've heard that the bonds that form in war are unusually - wait a minute, 'her'?"

Amelia chuckled at his confusion. "Yes, Delbert. Her."  
"Well, I…I didn't know that you…that you, er…" Doppler looked flustered.  
"Had that sort of inclination? It's a side of me you haven't seen." Amelia smiled.  
Doppler shook his head and took a deep breath. He knew, in a general sort of way, that the feline part of their species could be rather…open-minded when it came to that sort of preference. It was a necessary evolutionary safeguard against the threat of overpopulation posed by a race whose breeding members routinely produced litters of half a dozen children or more. It was just that he had never drawn a connection between an obscure piece of high school biology and his wife.

"Well…no, I haven't," he admitted.  
"Does it bother you, Delbert?" Amelia watched his eyes. Doppler looked up and met hers for a long moment before he shook his head.

"Not at all, Amelia. I promise."  
She smiled. "Thank you. Would you like to hear the rest of the tale?"  
Doppler nodded. "If you don't mind. I think it would help me understand your current dilemma."  
Amelia smiled again and went on. "Her name was Jane. Jane Porter. She was the daughter of the colonial governor. We became friends very quickly…and then became more than friends. You're right about the bonds of war, Delbert, but this was so much more than that. All through that siege…she was amazing. I would have done anything to protect her. I really was in love with her."

"Ah?" Doppler tried not to sound anything other than polite, but Amelia spotted the mixed emotions in his voice and raised his hand to kiss it.

"But you're the first in my heart now. First and only. I promise."

Doppler smiled. "And I still believe you, Amelia. Thank you."

"I hope you do," Amelia said softly. "It's the truth. And you'll see why that matters so much."

"Do go on, my dear. I'm listening." Doppler settled back.

"We gave a sharp lesson to the Procyons," Amelia went on, "but such a small outpost in the middle of a warzone was too vulnerable to leave behind. We evacuated the remaining colonists and took them aboard our ship. As luck would have it, Jane and I had to share a cabin. There's not much privacy on a warship, of course, but we made the most of it."

"I'm, er, sure you did," Doppler said politely. "But what happened? You said that you lost her…"  
"In the end." Amelia's face saddened. "It was only ever a temporary arrangement, having them on board. You can't have civilians on a warship indefinitely. We continued our mission with them on board. All through that campaign. We went through a lot together. But afterwards…we had to leave them. They went ashore at the first Imperial planet we docked at after the war was over. We repaired, resupplied and went back on deployment and they stayed behind. So I had to leave her. I had to say goodbye. I had to stand on the bridge, watching her on the dockside as we pulled away and went back to the etherium…"

A look of pain passed across her features, the like of which Doppler hadn't seen before. He had seen her in acute physical pain from the injury she sustained during the crash landing on Treasure Planet, but this was different. It had not left her with a physical scar, but Doppler could see that it had left her with other reminders perhaps all the harder to come to terms with because of their invisibility.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I know how I feel every time you have to leave."  
"It's no easier for me, my love," Amelia held his hand. "But I know I'm coming back to you, however long it takes, and that makes such a difference. When I left Jane, I knew it was forever. Oh, we could write letters to each other and so on…but the separation was permanent and we both knew it. I knew it would happen from the moment I met her, of course, but I just didn't…" she shook herself. "Anyway…I never saw her again. And after that, I didn't let it happen twice. I cut myself off from that sort of entanglement. I didn't let my emotions get the better of me. I became the captain you met when you came aboard the _Legacy_ that first time and that's as much as I ever let anyone see of me."

"What changed?" asked Doppler.  
Amelia looked up and smiled. "You, Doctor. You changed me. And that's part of the reason I'm hesitating about this job. I don't want to leave you behind the way I had to leave Jane. I don't want to see you standing alone on the dockside and knowing that it's the last I'll ever see of you. You're the first in my heart now, Delbert, like I said before. You always will be. And I can't leave you behind."

"But you'd be based here," said Doppler. "Or at least up on Crescentia. It wouldn't be goodbye."  
"You can't know that," said Amelia softly. "I could be transferred. I'd still have to go to space sometimes. If there was a war, I'd have to fight it. You know what that could mean. And there will be a war, Delbert, I'm absolutely certain of it. Benson wouldn't do this on a whim. He's preparing the Navy to go to war."

Doppler stood up and made his way around the table. Amelia watched as he knelt before her, holding her hand in her lap. Her green eyes wavered with emotion at the gesture.

"You haven't done that since you proposed to me..." she murmured.

"I know all of that as well," said Doppler softly. "What you were saying. About a war. I may not have a political mind like yours but you only have to read the papers and see the newscasts to know that it's coming. It feels like the lights are going out all across the galaxy, Amelia. We need people like you who can keep them shining."

"What would you do when war comes?" Amelia held his hand. "You worry about me too much already, my poor doctor."

"I'd wait for you," Doppler looked into her eyes. "The same as always. And in the meantime, you'd be here."

Amelia smiled. "That is a bonus, yes."

"I'm so glad you think so," Doppler dared a smile of his own. Amelia folded her hands around his and leaned forwards.

"Do you think I should take the job, Delbert? Honestly."

"I do," Doppler nodded. "But you're the one who would be making the sacrifice. So it's your decision."

"I can't make a decision that would affect us both so profoundly alone," said Amelia. "So I need to know your thoughts."

"I just gave them to you," said Doppler. He smiled again. "Along with my heart. Which will always be yours, whatever decision you make."

"I'm really so lucky to have that," said Amelia softly. "I won't ever forget it."

She closed her eyes and bowed her head. Doppler tried to see under the curtain of auburn hair that had fallen forwards to see her face, but couldn't. He stayed kneeling, holding her hands and trying to breathe quietly.

"What would Jane Porter have wanted you to do?" he whispered.

Amelia's breath caught for a moment.

"I'll do it."

She spoke almost at the cusp of hearing. She looked up and met his eyes again.

"I'll do it, Delbert. If it's all right with you."

"All right?" Doppler let out a laugh of relief. "Oh, Amelia! I couldn't imagine anything better! Oh, my darling, I'm so proud of you. I'm so glad you're taking it. I really couldn't imagine anyone who'd do as well as you will. I couldn't imagine anyone else I'd rather see in charge."

Amelia smiled. "That means a lot, my darling. Truly."

Doppler smiled back. "But would you like to take more time to...I mean...are you sure? That fellow said that you had two days to decide."

"I know. But I'm sure." Amelia patted his hand. "For all the reasons you've given me."

"I know you can," said Doppler. "You said yourself that there were good men and women in the Navy. They need someone like you to lead them. To be that change you say is needed."

"It's like you said. It's my chance to make a difference." said Amelia. "And I think I can do it, too."

"I honestly think that it is. And I'm sure you will. I've never known you not to make an impression." Doppler grinned.

"Thank you," Amelia paused. "I mean, if that was a compliment."

"As if it would be anything else," Doppler looked offended. Amelia laughed.

"Oh, my dear husband. What would I do without you in my days."

"Let's not be in a hurry to find out." Doppler kissed her lightly.

"Indeed not." Amelia kissed him back. "Are you sure about this, though, Delbert? Because you have to be, too. It means a sacrifice from you as well."

"I don't see how at this stage," said Doppler. "I live here already, after all. But yes. I'm sure. No matter what it means on my part. I couldn't be more sure. There's nobody else I'd trust more with protecting us here, and that's what you'd be doing."

Amelia breathed out happily. "That really does mean a great deal. It's not going to be an easy job. It'll mean I'm away rather often. There'll be a lot to do."

"You're away a lot now," Doppler pointed out. "But now you'll be here. Well, up on the spaceport anyway. I can come and visit as often as I'm allowed."

"I'll make sure my schedule allows it as often as possible," Amelia smiled.

"I'd like that." Doppler smiled back, seeing that her natural confidence was already reasserting itself. "Thank you very much indeed...Admiral."

Amelia laughed. "Oh, you...it'll take me a while to get used to that title, doctor."

"I prefer your title," Doppler grinned. "And it may take me a little time to get used to as well. But I think it suits you already."

"You really think so?" Amelia held his hands.

Doppler held hers in return. "I really do, Amelia."

"I won't forget that trust," she said.

"I never thought you would," Doppler replied. "Shall I arrange a courier to take the message back to the spaceport?"

"After breakfast," Amelia stroked his fingers. "Let's keep the morning to ourselves, shall we?"

"An excellent idea," said Doppler. He looked up and met her eyes. "I hope this doesn't sound at all patronising, my dear, but...I really am so proud of you."

Amelia smiled, her eyes shining. "It could never sound patronising coming from you, Delbert. Thank you."

Doppler kissed her hand and stood up. "And for what it's worth...I think that Jane Porter would be proud of you, too."

Amelia looked up at him, her smile softening. Doppler patted her shoulder and adjusted the cord of his dressing gown..

"There, now. And I suppose we'd better make the most of the next week if that's when you take up the position."

"Do you have any ideas for how we could...make the most of it?" Amelia rested her chin on her hand and grinned. Doppler grinned.

"Well...how about we start with another couple of cups of tea...and then we'll take it from there."


End file.
